Monday, November 13, 2006

Six Weird Things About Me

I rarely sucumb to memes, but my dear friend, Mary Robinette Kowal, wants me to answer this one, so I shall. Here's the meme:

Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

And here are my answers:
  1. This morning, while packaging up a manuscript to send to Anne Groell at Bantam, I managed to punch myself in the mouth. For a moment there, I was convinced that I had lost all of my bottom teeth; they are thankfully intact. I have talent, people.
  2. Josh Groban was in my freshman class at Carnegie Mellon University, and I'm sure I met him sometime during Orientation Week (we met literally EVERYONE), but I have no recollection of him at all.
  3. I am terribly allergic to dust and dust mites, but have no allergies for either cats or dogs.
  4. In 2005, I read 142 books; yes, I actually kept track of each and every single one I read in a bound form (I didn't count manuscripts.) I didn't keep track this year, but come January, I'm going to start counting again, just to see what the difference is now that I'm reading so many more manuscripts vs. published books.
  5. When I was seven years old, I managed to break an entire first-floor window by elbowing it while jumping on my bed. In the middle of February.
  6. I've sprained both my ankles multiple times, partially torn my Achilles tendon in my left leg, and also sprained my left wrist by leveraging myself off the floor several years ago. Yet I've never ever broken a bone.
Ok, now it's everyone else's turn to tell me six weird things about you! I want answers--you are all officially tagged! =)


Sam said...

I'm not as weird as you...(LOL) But I'll play too -
1: I'm really bad a recognizing people but I can recognize any horse I've already seen. My husband takes me to Argentina with him to buy horses, because the sellers sometimes try to switch them between the tryout and the delivery.
2: I can write with either hand and both at once, front & back or mirror image.
3: I'm so dyslexic I once watched a TV show that the film had been put in backwards to that all the signs were written backwards - and I didn't realize it until my husband told me.
4: I cannot crack my knuckles.
5: I always remember my dreams.
6: I read tarot cards but don't believe it's for real. (that's weird, lol)

M. Takhallus. said...

Okay, I'll play.

1) I dropped out of high school but still went on to drop out of junior college and not one but two universities.

2) I have a lifetime average of living in more than one home per year, and averaged more than one job per year since age 16.

3) For that first job (Toys R Us) I signed up at 16 for the draft in order to get fake ID. I worked 80 hour weeks and took myself and a cashier named Connie to Europe for three months. Came back minus Connie, minus my stuff, holding nothing but a book (Childdhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke) and a jar of PX peanut butter.

4) I don't care about sports. Not any sport. I just don't care where the ball is or what you've done with it.

5) I'm the co-author of 150 books, about 23,000 pages, written in 12 years, and because I use various pseudonyms I'm almost completely anonymous despite having hit various bestseller lists.

6) When I was nineteen and a flunky at a DC law firm I used to deliver envelopes full of cash to minor government functionaries in order to get preferred access to documents.

Yeah, just a little flaky.

Maprilynne said...

Okay . . . hmmm. I'm kind of boring.

1. I totalled my first car when I was 15.
2. I spent a summer as a professional melodrama actor. I did a lot fo fluttering my fake eyelashes.
3. I write a genre I almost never read.
4. I got engaged on my first "official" date with my husband, we got marrried five weeks later, and have been married for five years and going strong.:)
5. I faint at the sight of my own blood when I'm pregnant . . . all other times I think my own blood is really, really cool.
6. I can ride a horse at full canter standing up on it's back, with or without a saddle.

M. Takhallus, what an interesting list!

Jillian said...

Hmm, I've got a few minutes before lunch...

1. I can make my tongue fat and skinny sideways. I've only met one other person who can do that.

2. I'm afraid of ants. Seriously.

3. Last fall I fell down the garage steps and broke 3 ribs. There were only 2 steps.

4. I can speak Ubby Dubby language with the best of them.

5. I memorized Juliet's balconey soliloquy when I was about 14. I can still recite it. (And I'm way too old to play the part. Way.)

6. I'm a bonafide soprano, but I can sing the tenor arias from Handel's Messiah. In the tenor range. My children say I sound like a guy. Maybe it's a testosterone imbalance. Or something.

Anonymous said...

Ok - I'll play!
1. I was once told in high school by my teacher that I looked like Belinda Carlisle. *shrug*
2. The only celebrity I've seen (excluding Favorite Authors at book readings) is Ethan Hawke, walking down the street in NYC.
3. When I was seven, my friend and I jumped out of her bedroom window and hid in her barn, because I didn't want to go home yet (then my mom found us and I really didn't want to go home!)
4. I've traveled, three times, to Ireland, UK and Germany by myself.
5. I quit teaching because I was too tired to write. Now (a novel and a half later) I have a Desk Job *yawn* and am considering teaching again...but will I be able to write?
6. Sam, I'm with you on the tarot cards. Read them but don't believe it - its entertaining :-)

Henna said...

Weird? My goodness. Um

1. I hate the cold and yet I live in a place where sometimes the wind chill factor is -40.

2. In the mornings I work with miniature horses. In the afternoon I work with semi-draught horses.

3. Someone (after reading my writing) told me I wasn't born in this world.

4. If I didn't write I would probably be insane.

5. My hair is the exact same shade as my wolfhound's (see icon).

6. I really do want to live in a log cabin in the mountains miles from anyone else. (With my family and animals tho, of course,)

Tattieheid said...

hq1) I dropped out of school and many years later dropped out of University (studying law) despite having won a prestigious national legal debating competition.

2) I’ve had 4 Minis (motor cars) over the years and written them all off.

3) Like m.takhallus I have a lifetime average of living in more than one home per year, and averaged more than one job per year since age 16.

4) As a child I once demolished a large metal fence with a homemade bomb. (Long story more innocent than it sounds.)

5) As a child I was once pursued by a large quantity of water rats, I’ve had a phobia about rats ever since.

6) I once “flew off” a pier on a homemade hang glider for charity. I was wearing a silver leotard, blonde wig and excessive make up (I’m male.) Needless to say I ended up in the water, which was an interesting experience as I’m not a swimmer.

Bernita said...

Um...don't think there's much weird, unusual or special about me....though I did try to make a Molotov coctail when I was about 12.

Michael Patrick Leahy said...

1. I traced my genealogy back to Thor on Rootsweb. Not bad for an Irishman.

2. I think that the trivium (Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric) taught from the perspective of a Biblical World View is the single most signficant solution to our country's educational disasters. That's not weird, but it puts me in a growing minority.

3. I once ran the Marine Corps Reserve Marathon with a sock on one foot, none on the other.

4. We shut off the cable TV last month as an experiment. So far so good. No TV means more time for family stuff.

5. Wednesday nights we study Douglas Wilson's Introduction to Logic as a family.

6. I think people will find a historical novel set in the Trans-Mississippi interesting. A garland to anyone who can tell me what the Trans-Mississippi was.

Anonymous said...

I'll play. This is fun.
1. I delivered for Domino's Pizza in college
2. I remember every little fact you tell me, even if I don't want to. (I've never lost at Trivial Pursuit)
3. My eyes are two differnt shades of blue/green.
4. I once interviewed to drive the Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile.
5. I once saw Evil Kneivel drive by on the NJ Turnpike.
6. If I meet a pregnant person, and they are going to have thier baby within the next two days, even if they aren't due yet, I'll know it.

Sam said...

I googled - I'll admit right away that I didn't know what it was, but I love to learn new things.
Here's what I learned:

The Trans-Mississippi was the geographic area west of the Mississippi River during the 19th century, containing the states of Arkansas, Louisiana, Missouri and Texas, and the Indian Territory (now Oklahoma). The term was especially used by the Confederate States of America as the designation for the theater of operations west of the Mississippi. The geographical term is used today only in matters relating to the study of the American Civil War.

In 1898, a Trans-Mississippi Exposition was held at Omaha, Nebraska. The exposition itself is long-forgotten, but the postage stamps of the Trans-Mississippi Exposition Issue are considered some of the most beautiful stamps ever issued by the US, and a complete set of the "Trans-Miss" is highly prized. In 1998, a set of stamps using designs derived from the original issue was issued to commemorate its 100th anniversary.

Anyhow, thanks for giving me something new to think about!
(and thanks to everyone for posting their wierdness - very cool weirdness!)

kiwi said...

I’m passionate about social change, the end of poverty, justice, freedom … but I am extremely reclusive, even antisocial.

I love people, but I love the solitude of nature more.

I spent more time at university than in compulsory education.

I threw in a lucrative doctoral scholarship to work in an industry where failure is endemic.

I queried more than a hundred agents on the completion of my first novel, and received offers of representation from only two.

One agent told me I couldn’t write; luckily, acquisition edits since disagree (Or maybe they publish any old rubbish these days?).

Kim said...

I'm game...

1. I am absolutely, faint-dead-away-terrified of clowns and monkeys. And I have no idea why.

2. I have a weird thing about lightswitches. If two control the same light (i.e switch at top of steps AND at bottom) and the light's off, the switch has to be in the down position. If the light's on, it has to be up - otherwise I have to fix it and I don't care whose house I'm in.

3. When I was 12 I broke my nose playing water tag, my middle finger wrestling around with my brother, and two toes while making the bed. This was all in a span of about four weeks. Can we say accident prone?

4. I'm left-handed most of the time, but I play guitar right handed, piano only with my right hand, and I can't make a left-handed pair of scissors cut to save my life.

5. I can't sit with my back to a window or a doorway no matter what.

6. I can remember the license plate numbers from the first two cars I owned (over 20 years ago - yikes!), but I haven't a clue what my current plate number is.

James Dashner said...

Mine will seem so lame compared to you guys. Oh well.

1. I love peanut-butter toast dipped in tomato soup. My wife inexplicably thinks this is disgusting.

2. I lived in Japan for awhile, and ate things like raw octupus and fermented soy beans.

3. My dad helped design the radar system on the F16.

4. I'm a CPA who writes weird fantasy novels. I don't know if I have both sides of the brain or what, but if I do, I hate the nerdy math side.

5. I once killed a chimney sweeper in Bangkok, just for fun. Okay, not really.

6. My big brother was the lead singer for a heavy metal band called Lazarus, big in the DC area in the 80s. They were flown to England for a recording contract, but their agent died in a car crash while there and the whole deal evaporated. Sucked.

Jordan Summers said...

You probably won't want to work with me after this. *ggg*

1. I don't like meat in soups or stews, but I love to put gravy on things.

2. I used to be deathly terrified that our house would burn down as a did, the day after we moved out.

3. I can't knowingly leave the kitchen cabinets open because it'll bug me until I get up and close them.

4. I can tell if something in my house has been moved, even if it's something small.

5. I cut up the meat on my plate into tiny pieces because I can't stand the texture.

6. I write via word count or page count and I always have to end on an even number of words.

Ben S. D. said...

Er...this could be scary, but maybe I'm more normal than I think. ;)

1. I'm slightly obsessive compulsive. For example, things NEED to be returned from whence they came. Phone on the charger, wallet on the entertainment center, jacket on the hanger, etc.

2. When the sun is out and I don't have sunglasses when driving, I get annoyed. More annoyed than I should be.

3. I have a borderline photographic memory. It's not "photographic," per se, but I rarely forget much of anything I see or hear. Ever.

4. I don't smoke or drink (and that includes coffee).

5. I have a very strange weakness for cheesy action flicks from the '80s. For whatever reason, I'll watch anything Van Damme or Seagal made in that era from beginning to end, loving every second like some kind of braindead zombie.

6. I know everything there is to know about video games, and physically, I'm the exact opposite of the stereotypical "gamer." It freaks people out, I swear.

Ben S. D. said...

jordan, I am SO with you on #4. ;)

katiesandwich said...

Sorry if this posts twice. Blogger hates me. Maybe it's trying to trick me into creating an account!

Okay, here we go...

1. In junior high, I read The Witch of Blackbird Pond seventeen times.

2. I work at the Ohio Renaissance Festival.

3. My mom says I look like Brooke Shields. I think Brooke Shields is ugly, so thanks, Mom! Why couldn't I look like Rachel Weiss?

4. My husband is sixteen years older than me... but he's ten years less mature!

5. I used to have this tendency to lean on walls when I was a kid. I broke myself of this habbit in Girl Scout camp. Our tent sat on this three-foot platform, and I went to lean out the wall and fell out!

6. Once, someone dared me to walk into this gas station with my underwear on my head and ask where the condoms were. I made it in with the underwear, but was too chicken to ask for the condoms. Plus, I was laughing way too hard.

Jodi Meadows said...

Okay, I've been thinking about these... I guess my great love for dryer lint is already out there, so:

1. I have a horrible memory for faces, so I assign other things to remember people by. Shapes, hair, voices. It's pretty useful until someone gains/loses a bunch of weight, changes their hair, or moves and gets a new accent. It's even less useful when my brain decides to identify someone by their blue jacket or the funny t-shirt.

2. I LOVE every aspect of writing. First drafting, cleaning up the first draft suck, rewriting, polishing... I even like writing blurbs. I like every part... except naming things. Why can't they come pre-named?

3. I can fold my tongue into three sections. O.O

4. I met my husband on the internet. He flew down to Texas on a Friday, stayed the weekend, and we drove back to Virginia on Monday. We were married two weeks later.

5. I call people I'm a little afraid of and invite them to lunch. And then remember I'm a little afraid, gather a large crowd to go to lunch too, and do not talk to the person I originally wanted to go to lunch with. Okay, maybe just the once. ;)

6. I keep careful track of the number of words I write per day. I really like counting things.

Geminipen said...

1. Don't tell Ms. Snark, but I spoke to George Clooney on the phone! While working for American Express' card replacement unit, he called and needed a new AMEX. When I asked for his address for security purposes, he told me he didn't give that out (and yes, it was on the screen in front of me). I laughed and told him it sounded like him. Then, I promptly issued him a new card.

2. I worked for American Airlines for over two years with "practically free" flights but never went anywhere.

3. I think Dr. Phil can fix all my problems.

4. I hated Forest Gump.

5. I still fantasize about my eighth grade crush. (I'm 36!)

6. I don't think I've ever been in love (alas!).

Maya said...

Okay, I'll try.

1) I can't stand the smell or texture of peanut butter. I like the taste of peanuts--just not peanut butter.

2) In elementary school, I took on Carl, the school bully, because he hit my little brother. I was in third grade, and Carl was in fifth. I jumped on his back and rode him, smashing his face with my fist from behind, destroying his glasses along the way. My brother and I ran home and hid. Carl's mother came roaring over to our house, absolutely furious. When my mom dragged me out from under the bed and the other woman saw how small I was, she swung around and slapped Carl right across the face (guess that's why he was a bully in the first place).

3) I once spread 62,000 on my bed and rolled in it.

4) I know the lyrics to just about every television Western ever broadcast.

5) My two dogs got into a fight once. I got bit (crushed my thumb parting their jaws), but delayed getting treatment. Developed MRSA (treatment resistant staph infection) and had to give myself intravenous medication twice a day for six weeks through a port in my arm.

6) I can keep any plant alive. I'm always picking up plants people have thrown away and bringing them back from the brink.

LadyBronco said...

How fun! Okay, I'll bite.
1. I have a fear of talking on the phone to strangers. I have no earthly idea why, or where it came from.
2. Before I met and married my husband (14 years and still going!) the longest relationship I ever had was 4 months long.
3. I have been asked if I am part Asian, part African-American, part Native-American, or part Hispanic. (I am none of these things.)
4. My maiden name was Rebecca Schaefer, and it was spelled exactly like the actress that was killed. We were (are?) the same age, both have curly curly hair, both the same height. (Creepy!)
5. I read, on average, 1 book per day.
6. There are absolutely no records of anyone on my father's side of the family that exist before my grandparents. Anywhere. My family has hired lawyers, geneologists, you name it. Nothing.

McKoala said...

1. I have an extra muscle under my right nostril that enables me to pull down the right side of my nose in an extremely grotesque way.

2. Coffee makes me vomit.

3. I have a fear of travelling over bridges in a car.

4. The day after I gave birth to my son I weighed less than I did before I got pregnant. Severe hyperemesis meant that the only weight I had put on was that of the baby and the fluid around him

5. Touching extremely dry things freaks me out - I can't use talcum powder and the thought of licking a tissue to clean up a child just makes me want to curl up and die.

6. I'd like to go on a date with Ryan Stiles.

Anonymous said...

Ok, here goes:

1. I watched my first horror movie with my dad when I was 6. It was Night of the Living Dead.

2. I've never broken anything in my body (knock on wood), or really injured myself in any real way (knock on wood again).

3. I had a crush on Alyssa Milano when I was 10.

4. I am a computer programmer during the day yet I can't find one single thing interesting enough to write about that - fiction or otherwise.

5. I have a stuffed Voodoo doll in the shape of a computer on my desk, next to a bust of Jason Voorhees, next to a full-sized severed head on my desk at work.

6. I have lived in Los Angeles and Orlando - and both coasts feel exactly the same to me - crowded with tourists and bad drivers.

December Quinn said...

These are so great!

1. I'm another tarot reader, but I do believe in it--I used to read professionally and had way too much stuff be true for me not to believe (and I never asked anyone for any information about themselves aside from name and DOB.)

2. I'm afraid of Oompa-Loompas.

3. I can eat as much popcorn as I want. I mean, literally--I can eat an entire large popcorn at the movies by myself, before the end of the movie. If I tried to eat that much of another food I would be sick, but after an entire popcorn I could still have dinner.

4. I can cross my second toes over my big toes without using my hands. I have no idea if this is a rare or interesting skill, but my Mom hates it.

5. I spent almost my entire second pregnancy eating nothing but potato skins and spanakopita appetizers from Target. They were all I could stand the smell of.

6. I fidget constantly.

Bernita said...

#2...Um...with some help from a glossary, I can translate Anglo-Saxon....

Helen Ginger said...

I enjoyed reading everyone else's, so here's mine.

1) When I was young, my older sister told me to shut up or she'd knock the snot out of me. Then she did. We're great friends now.

2) For three years I was a mermaid, complete with tail. I can eat and drink underwater, do synchronized ballet and blow air rings.

3) I've played in a Bunco group for 21 years, and I'm one of the newer members to the group.

4) I've been writing an e-newsletter for writers for 7 years now. I once surveyed the readers and found out I have subscribers on every continent except Antarctica. I'm looking for someone there.

5) I have two posters for the same movie. One is for Return of the Jedi and one is for Revenge of the Jedi. Which one did you go see? The other is the name of the movie before they changed it.

Maya said...

Helen Ginger: Did you work at Weeki-Wachi in Florida? I loved visiting the mermaids there as a kid.

Manic Mom said...

Because you asked, and because I was recently tagged too, here are mine:

1. I was married once before but for obvious reasons I don’t talk much about it. It was a very short marriage-just shy of two months, but going into it, we knew we were making an incredible mistake but it was one of those things where we were high school sweethearts, and our parents were the best of friends (obviously, they are not friendly anymore).

The wedding was spectacular, because his mom and my mom were crazed with the details, which was good for me because I’m not much of a planner, as you all know, so I just sat back and let them take over.

I should have known when he smashed the cake in my face at the reception that it was not going to last. That’s the ONE thing I asked him not to do the whole time we were planning to get married. That bastard.

2. When I’m at the computer, thinking, I pick the bottom of my feet and collect the dried-up skin and keep it in a pile next to my keyboard. I am going to continue to do this until I land an agent and then see how big the pile gets. I’m betting I can probably fill a pillow with it. I just doubt it’ll be that soft.

3. Religion and Dances: I went to Catholic school for 11 years, including preschool and kindergarten, and a stint at an all-girl’s school in ninth grade. Ninth grade was pretty traumatizing, I think. Well, at least the after-football-game dances were. Everyone would convene in the hall where the dance was and dance and make out and talk to cute boys. Except me. I still cringe and have major flashbacks when I hear The Fixx and that one song that was playing one particular night I was feeling very desolate, unattractive, lost, lonely, loserish, pathetic…

(OK, now I gotta look it up on itunes…OK, I’m cryin’ here now: One Thing Leads to Another.)

I didn’t go to my high school senior prom, but my sister, who was a junior, got asked by a senior (one who I would have said yes to, probably, had he asked ME, but NOOOOO, he had to go and ask my cheerleader sister to MY prom. Actually, one guy did kind of ask me, and he was a guy I really did want to go with, at the time, but I laughed because I thought he was joking. And who knows, maybe he was too. He didn’t go to prom either, but he did start a rumor later that year that I gave him a BJ. When I ran into him at our 10-year reunion, I reminded him of that rumor, and he said he didn’t remember. I told him, “Well, let me just tell you pal, had it been true, you can bet your ass you would HAVE remembered!” I smacked my lips and strutted away.

I did go to my ninth grade (another traumatic experience, looking back) “Christmas Formal” and damnit, I’m going to find that photo and take a digital picture and post it here just so you can see how freaked it was! I went with our neighbor’s son, who I had a major crush on my whole life (but he’s not the one I married), and I wanted this beautiful sapphire blue floor-length dress at JCPenney’s for only $90 (see, I was frugal even then!), but my MOM wanted me to have this DISGUSTING floral uglier-than-the-ugliest-piece-of-clothing-you’ve-ever-seen dress for $20. Guess which dress I got? Thank God the lights were dimmed at the dance.
I never went to a homecoming. A guy asked me when I was a junior and I said yes. I bought a beautiful sea-foam green tea-length silky dress for the occasion, along with some of that matching bright green mascara that was hot back in 1985. I had everything ready. I was talking to the guy on the phone. We went to the mall together. I thought I liked him. Then, I got scared. He was talking about drinking and smoking, and hey, that was just not Manic’s thing back then, so I chickened out and told him like four days before the dance I didn’t want to go.

That is probably the reason I never got to go to my senior prom – because I was such a bitch to that guy over the homecoming thing. I later wrote a short story called “Memories of a Lost Homecoming” that was a combination of my danceless experiences with homecoming and prom. It was published in our school literary magazine. I can pull it out and put it on the blog if you all want to read it? It sucks.

4. When I had my tonsils out at about four years old (Mom, how old was I?) I vividly remember the doctor putting that black rubber stinky-smelling balloon thingy over my face they made you inhale so you would pass out, and telling me to count backwards from 100. I think I got to number 98 and I passed out (of course, I was four, so I’m sure, UNLIKE Swishy, I didn’t know how to even count TO 100, and they were asking me to count it backwards!).

So, I wake up from surgery, feeling a little groggy and I just remember it being all hospital green like in the old days, that green that’s not quite avocado but isn’t exactly green-green, ya know? More of a yellowish-green with a hint of blue. Now that I think about it, the colors of the walls at the hospital recovery room probably matched my homecoming dress I had to return and the mascara that I kept.

And then I noticed a soft plastic measuring cup attached with an elastic band had been put on my wrist, and I was four, so I was thinking, “Wow, I’m high,” and then, “Wow, I must have done really well during the surgery because they gave me this plastic cup thing around my wrist as a prize for being so good.”

Then I barfed all over myself.

Years later, when having flashbacks of my surgery, I then understood the cup was for me to throw up into.

5. In probably eighth or ninth grade (it was probably ninth, since it was the year of trauma and I hadn’t been thinking straight), I had a book report project to do and I think we got to choose a place to do it on.

I chose Greece. Maybe because my parents had visited Athens, or more than likely, probably because I thought all the Greek myths were pretty freaking cool. In fact, freshman year in college, I took Greek Mythology, which was a three-hour class on Monday night and the old-lady professor would spend the whole time telling us Greek myths while I furiously took notes. It must have fascinated me because I got an A in the class.

Anyway, back to my ninth-grade project. We had to write blah-blah-blah stuff on our chosen place and include pictures. For whatever fucked up reason I had, I decided to save time and just cut the pictures from our set of encyclopedias.

Sidenote: For those of you too young to know what an encyclopedia is, it’s a bunch of books with a whole bunch of stuff written in it. Like, say, for instance, you wanted to learn about Athens, then you would go to the A book, and find all sorts of things about Athens and great photos too. Or if you were doing Greece, you could go to the G volume and find stuff out about Greece. It was a very cool invention back in the day. In fact, they even had salesmen who went door-to-door selling volumes of encyclopedias to women wearing foam hair curlers and pink furry robes, smoking cigarettes, with a baby on her hip and a toddler behind her picking his nose and the soaps blaring in the background while Luke proclaimed his love to Laura, or Greg got injured in a skiing accident and Jenny was rushing to his bedside, while Opal was trying to figure out how to split them up, or maybe even Dr. Noah Drake and Blackie having a discussion on how to foil Scotty. (Wow! Is my memory amazing or what?!)

OK, so, Greece. My book report.

I cut out pictures from our encyclopedia. I didn’t ask my dad to take the books to his office to photocopy them. I didn’t go to the library to find books I could photocopy. I. Cut. Them. From. The. Book.


My parents were pissed. They yelled. They got mad. They probably even grounded me, and back then, grounding me was telling me I couldn’t lock myself in my room and read any more V.C. Andrews books for the week, so that was a tough punishment! For real.

I guess I learned my lesson. Now I respect books. It was a stupid thing to do, but maybe I was procrastinating till the last minute and the report was due the next day? I don’t know. Regardless, I have never treated a book that way since; I truly learned my lesson.

Oh, and you can bet your ass I got an A+ on that report.

OK, we all know No. 1 is a lie. All the rest, except for parts of No. 2 (there’s not a big pile because I put the dried-up skin in the garbage when I’m done for the day), are completely, utterly, stupidly true.

Jeff Strand said...

1. I can't snap my fingers.

2. I drink stuff like Red Bull, Full Throttle, Rock Star, Monster, etc. strictly for the taste.

3. I'm right-handed and left-footed.

4. Balloons freak me out. I can't pop them, and if I'm in the vicinity of one that's in danger of popping, I'll be making an embarrassing cringy-face.

5. When I was 32, Piers Anthony wrote about me in his newsletter: "Then a teen boy wandered in, probably cutting through on his way to the sandlot. He turned out to be Janice's husband Jeff Strand, maybe not as young as he looked, the author of several books, the master of ceremonies for the awards banquet and a hilarious fellow when he gets going."

6. I watch almost no TV, but I obsess over the little bit of TV I do watch. I haven't missed an episode of Survivor since the second season.

katiesandwich said...

Holy crap! I know someone who is terrified of balloons! He says that balloons and him are like snakes and Indiana Jones.

Joe said...

1. I'm the useless psychic. I always know mundane things just before they're about to happen. About a year ago, my son turned the thermostat on the refrigerator to the maximum level, freezing the line that dispensed water. A few weeks later, having given up all hope of fixing it, I dreamt that I got out of bed, walked into the kitchen, and pressed the dispenser button. Something inside the fridge clinked and, finally, the water worked again. I woke up and followed the pattern from my dream and, sure enough, everything happened exactly as I'd seen. Even the "clink." I also knew the exact moment my first wife died, though I was nowhere near the hospital when it happened.

2. I'm the owner and webmaster of the Official Chris de Burgh (think "Lady in Red") website. That's not weird in itself, but most people in the US have no clue who he is.

3. When I was a kid, my friend Brad and I were putting together a tent in the front yard when we decided to put all the tent poles together and see how high we could make them. We hit an electric wire and nearly electrocuted ourselves. The bottom of my feet were burned.

4. I collect action figure from the 1970's, and probably have more toys than my five-year-old son does.

5. I'm double-jointed in the second-to-last finger in my right hand. I can "lock" that finger into place, pointing straight out, even while the rest of my fingers are balled into a fist. I've never met anyone else who can do this, and you can't either. Go ahead, try it.

6. I can recite all of the phone numbers, driver's license numbers, and credit card numbers that I've ever had, but I have a hard time remembering my anniversary.

M. G. Tarquini said...

I managed to punch myself in the mouth

I want to ask your forgiveness for laughing very hard at this statement.

I am so sorry.

Truly, I am a depraved individual.

December Quinn said...

Joe, don't you mean Chris "Don't Pay the Ferryman" DeBurgh?

Helen Ginger said...

I didn't work at Weeki-Wachi, although I've heard of that place. I swam at a place in Texas called Aquarena Springs. A really nice resort type area that now has been taken over by the university and become a research center.

S. W. Vaughn said...

Oooh, do lurkers get to count themselves as tagged? :-)

Holy cow... 142 books not counting manuscripts! Tha's a lotta books! Hope most of them were good ones.

I shall post my tag tomorrow. It'll take me that long to think of six things worth mentioning about me LOL

Anonymous said...

Hmm... I don't know if I have 6 weird things, so I'll lead with the weirdest.

1. I was born with no sense of smell.

2. My grandmother used to feed her grandkids peanut-butter-and-bacon sandwiches. (On second thought, maybe this is a weird thing about my grandmother. Anyway, we all love PBandB sandwiches to this day.)

3. I have had 8 baby teeth, 4 adult teeth, and 3 wisdom teeth pulled, all just to make room in my tiny little jaw for the remaining teeth.

4. Strangers have several times asked me and my sister (who is two years older) if we were twins.

5. I eat or drink something chocolate almost every day. It might well be every day...

6. I perversely refuse to upgrade my computer to more recent systems/hardware/software until the old setup is just utterly unusuable because the worldwide standards have sailed so far beyond me. And then I upgrade by purchasing a 3-year-old machine that's going off-lease.

Anonymous said...

Damnit. I just did this and I think it erased what I wrote. I'm just bored enough to make a whole new list:

1. I know the entire choreography from Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation" video.

2. I spent far too many hours in my childhood trying to perfect the art of snapping my toes like fingers. I also tried flick someone off with my middle toe. It's a lot harder than it sounds.

3. I have this disorder where, since I never remember names, my brain will make up its own names for other people. I once went two years thinking a close friend's name was Adam. I only found out his name was John when I introduced him to someone else.

4. A few weeks ago, while talking with my partner's Filipina mother, I found myself speaking in a very thick Filipino accent (I'm a white girl, born on Long Island). Since then, the accent has been creeping up into everyday conversation.

5. I've eaten gator, rattlesnake, snail, rabbit, turtle, shark and dolphin. I've had the opportunity to eat possum, but there's a line I just won't cross.

6. I spent about eight years alternately traveling the country by myself as a folksinger and moving from city to city. When I first moved to New York, I made extra money by playing in the subway.

The best place to busk in Manhattan is on the downtown 4/5/6 platform at Grand Central. I can't imagine how anyone could have heard me, but I made $50 in just under an hour.

The best place for acoustics is the tunnel between the L train and the 1/9 at 14th Street.

Heidi said...

Because I've found these all so fascinating...

1. I once missed out on getting an excellent job based on a three-way toss of a coin. (I came in second.)

2. I was a netizen before the world wide web was born, and was one of the first people to have a web page.

3. I'm terrible-terrible-terrible with names but I never forget a face. (Jodi and I may never recognise the other.)

4. My second biggest fear is people finding out what my biggest fear is.

5. I didn't own a car until I was nineteen. The only way I could afford a car was to buy two cheap VW Bug wrecks and frankenstein a working car together.

Michelle said...

Okay, cool! I’ll play.

1. I know all the words to “American Pie” sung by Don McLean.

2. I count steps. 16 steps going to my second floor. Three down the deck, 106 walking to the mailbox.

3. I am no longer allowed to check books out at the library or to rent movies. (Self imposed) I have this issue about bringing them back and end up buying said books and movies. I am however going to give Netflix a try. They send you an envelope and everything, so perhaps I can return those when I want a new movie. LOL

4. I have a hard time telling people ‘no’ when I’m already overwhelmed. (Working on this for my own sanity)

5. I broke my brother’s leg while riding bikes when I was 11 and he was 8. My front tire hit his back tire and when he fell, he broke his femur bone. I carried him two blocks home. He was in a body cast all summer. He still talks to me.

6. I can only write at night. I can edit, brain storm, and plot during the daylight hours but cannot write a word before the sun goes down.

Michael Patrick Leahy said...

A belated garland to Sam for properly identifying the term "Trans-Mississippi".