The post title is a direct quote from our vet, Dr. Toll, who happily went and examined Zoe this afternoon.
Basically, there could be a number of things wrong with my kitten, but the most likely one is that she has a virus/kitten cold. Her throat is raw (yes, cats get sore throats--the things we learn at the vet!), and she has a temperature of 102 degrees, which is just below where the vet would declare that she has a fever (that's at 103 degrees). She also could definitely have a hairball somewhere in her digestive system, so we have been sent home with the wonderful product known as CatLax. We've also been given three cans of special "very appetizing" wet food for cats and dogs, which Zoe does indeed like, as she ate several tablespoons worth upon arriving home. The special wet food contains such marvelous ingredients as pork liver. Pork liver, I say! Apparently, quite a delicacy, if you're a feline. =)
And finally, to add to all the virus and hairball symptoms, Zoe, it turns out, is teething. She's currently getting her adult canines in, which is quite neat because she literally has a set of double teeth--her baby canines are still there, and growing behind them are tiny little nubs of tooth that will eventually be her adult canines. And like all young animals or humans, teething can make her gums and mouth sore, so that's also another possible reason why she's not eating.
So basically, we feed her the special wet food, give her some CatLax each day, and if she's not feeling better by Friday night, then Chris will take her back to the vet on Saturday morning. But happily, at this point, it seems she's just sick.
PS. Killer Yapp, Zoe sends her regards to you, and respectfully declines your offer to help her exercise. She would prefer playing with your ears and tail, she says, if the two of you do meet. Be forewarned. =)