Monday, March 05, 2007

One query per person

So, I've been forwarding my backlogged e-queries on to the Electronic Intern lately, and he and I have discovered a shocking thing... some of you are sending me BOTH an e-query and a snail mail query.

Please do not do this. You have no idea how frustrating it is, to read the same thing again that you've just rejected. Or to have to make the Electronic Intern read something that I've already made a decision on. It wastes my time and it wastes his time.

You all get one query per person, per novel. Choose whether it's going to be an e-query or a snail mail query, but don't send both.

Thank you.

14 comments:

James Dashner said...

My heart hurts for this EI guy. He's doing all this work, and yet he doesn't even get the dignity of having a name. Could we at least make up something?

How about Vern? Vern the Intern. Anyone gonna back me up on this?

Nathalie Mallet said...

I’m with you on this one, James. I think Vern is a good name for him. Uh, for some reason that name invokes images dark-rimmed glasses and a blowing shirt.

Bernita said...

James, I like it.

Ryan Field said...

That's catchy...Vern the Intern...be a great name for his own blog too. Hint hint, Vern the Intern.

kiwi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kiwi said...

Vern? Come on guys, this is lame. We're writers, christ, we're fantasy writers, we can do better than Vern.

And yes, Nathalie, dark rimmed glasses and blowing shirt (gold chain and hairy chest), exactly; 1970s, dated.

Shaliacbar Smith, brother of Wilbur, son of ...

And so the story begins :).

Sam said...

I think 'electronic intern' sounds like an android.

His name is Timmylinke and he's got sapphire faceted eyes and quick silver fingers. He...speaks...like...this.

Jenny...we...have...another...e-query...and...snail mail query...from...the same person...Shall I...vaporize him?...And look...He's also sent...a carrier Pigeon...
That guy...Is toast.

James Dashner said...

Kiwi, you're right. Another try:

Algathern the Intern, Dark Lord of Electronica Querikas, Destroyer of Hopes and Dreams, Smasher of Self Esteem, the Author-Slayer. Impervious to hexes and brown-nosing, he rages in the dark of night, baring his fangs, cackling as he writes over and over:
"You suck, keep your day job. Sincerely, Jenny Rappaport"

Jenny Rappaport said...

The Electronic Intern has his own name, you know. He's supposedly revealing his secret identity soon... =)

(And he's signing his own name to the rejection letters.)

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kiwi said...

James and Sam, what can I say, very nice indeed.

Just had a thought, what if the intern's name is Vern! Can we force a change through Deedpol?

kiwi said...

Oh, and a question a friend asked me the other day. (Apparently because I write I know stuff about agents!)

Jenny, do you know an Amy Stout? Apparently she is an agent with lperkins?

... or was?

BuffySquirrel said...

Oooh, a spambot! Are flame wars with spambots allowed?

:D

Imaginot_Line said...
This comment has been removed by the author.