And so I'm back, typing a bit slowly with the burnt wrist, but ready to announce who's won! =)
These were the original entries.
And these are the winners!
In THIRD PLACE, we have natalie with:
Half the audience sat flabbergasted as Kira took her place on stage. It had been rumored for months that the pregnant teen would be playing Mary in the church Christmas pageant. The kerfuffle over its blasphemous nature caused most to assume that Reverend Spinner, who controlled every whit of the parish’s dealings, would never allow such a thing. But there Kira sat in the makeshift stable, shawl squaring her face off like a wimple, in all her lenticular glory.
In SECOND PLACE, we have kaz augustin with:
The kerfuffle began soon after I renewed my acquaintance with Larry the Rat. I had dressed in the brushed titanium wimple of the Sisters of the Eternal Black Hole, and moved up to his unsuspecting form steadily, under the guise of collecting alms. The sneak never knew what hit him, although I did. Luckily some other group at the bar had just finished their Relativity Shears, and their lenticular intoxicant chamber was empty. The cylinder slipped easily into my passing hand, although it wouldn't have mattered a whit whether they noticed that piece of pilfering or not -- I was in no mood to be my usual subtle self. Larry, after he recovered from the blow, was beyond flabbergasted, his mind punched into a space at least two parallel universes away. I wasn't too surprised. After all, he thought I was dead, roasted into carbon fragments too small to detect. And all because of a little piece of advice he'd let slip from those unrestrained yet knowledgeable lips of his.
And finally, in FIRST PLACE, we have beki with:
To be perfect honest, she was a bit flabbergasted. Who uses a word like “lenticular” anyway? What in the hell does “lenticular” even mean? She looked it up, and she still wasn’t sure. She was sure, however, that it wasn’t something you called somebody. It would be like calling them “wide.” Or “bumpy.” Or … “lenticular.” Lentil-like? Seriously? She looked that one up, too. Legumes of some sort, the dictionary said. Weren’t legumes beans? He thought she looked bean-like? Where did he get off saying something like that to her? And hiding behind a world like “lenticular” … what a puss. Her grandmother wore a wimple, for God’s sake; and she’d had more balls than to lob her insults from behind a thesaurus. Heavy. Big-boned. Chunky. Fat. Her brother called her “rotund” once. He’d also called her “fluffy.” That was her personal, all-time favorite: fluffy. But she’d lost forty-three pounds since then, so where in the hell did he get off saying something like, “That dress makes you look a bit lenticular, Judith.” Well, screw him and his highfalutin insults. He didn’t have a whit of taste anyway, and he wasn’t any smarter than she was, either. She’d used the word “kerfuffle” just last week. And she could use it in a sentence, too: “It will cause quite a kerfuffle when they find his body in the freezer for calling her lenticular.”
Thank you to everyone that entered!!! Next year, I think we do poetry again. Poetry involving cats... =)
If you're one of the three winners, please e-mail me your mailing address and choices of books, ranked from first to third. That would be for THE MIRRORED HEAVENS by David J. Williams, WASTELANDS edited by John Joseph Adams, and THE PRINCES OF THE GOLDEN CAGE by Nathalie Mallet. All three winners will receive a copy of the ARC for THE JOURNAL OF CURIOUS LETTERS by James Dashner and a copy of OFF LIMITS by Jordan Summers. Remember, beki gets first choice, then kaz augustin, and finally, natalie.